Two little words......

I’ve spent the last week meditating on a passage of the Bible, telling us how to use the specific gifts God gave us to minister to the world around us – 1 Corinthians 14.  Lots of good stuff in that chapter, but I haven’t even made it past the first two words. 

Pursue love.  (NRV)

What a perfect summary of what it means to be a Christian! We begin our new spiritual lives with the awareness of the depth of Christ’s love for us.  The love that is unmerited, unconditional, and yes, unheard of for many of us.  (It took me nearly 25 years before I really began to comprehend His love for me – and I think I’m still only scratching the surface.)

As I become confident in his love, what am I supposed to do? 

Pursue love.  Or as Jesus defined it, love one another. 

It's easy to love most of the people in my life.  I love my husband, more every day.  I fell in love with my children -- long before they were even born.  And I love my extended family.  The friends who have walked beside me through a host of ups and downs.  For all of these, love isn’t really so much of a pursuit as it is a natural response to the love I have received from them.

There definitely are people who I find difficult to love, though.

Maybe it’s because of past actions or hurts they have caused. Choices that they made that I disagree with. Perhaps they, or someone similar to them, have wounded me in the past.  Or they have a life so different from mine that I have trouble identifying with them.  Whatever the issue, loving them requires effort for me.  A great deal of it. 

And yet it’s what I’m called to do.

It doesn’t mean that I have to agree with everything that they say or do.  It doesn’t mean that I enable them.  Or refuse to speak words of truth when I have been specifically instructed by God to do so. 

It also doesn’t mean that I need to rush to solve their problems with a particular program or ministry.  Give them a three point sermon and about what they need to change.  Not immediately, maybe not ever.

It DOES require me to accept them for who they are, and where they are in their spiritual walk.  To honor their worth as a human being, giving dignity where there is none.  To encourage, champion, and affirm.  

Maybe, just maybe, that’s all I’m supposed to do.

Pursue love. 

What if that became our life’s quest?

    

I DID - AND I'D DO IT AGAIN

Eleven years ago…..

I stand at the back of the church chapel,  in the dress that made me cry the first time I put it on.  I can see my soon-to-be husband at the end of the aisle, and our eyes meet.  A few moments later I join him at the front of the church, and before our friends and family, I promise to love him forever, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. 

At the time, I remember thinking that there is no possibly way I could love him more.  As it turns out, though, I was wrong.

Saying “I do” is only the first step of commitment.  True commitment can only be evidenced over time, as you navigate the ups and downs of life together.  Handling the stress of bar exams and engineering certifications.  Examining the miracle of ten tiny little fingers and ten tiny little toes.  Walking through our first house together, wondering if we would ever be able to afford the furniture to fill it up.  Weeping over the loss of loved ones.  Being strong for the other when a career path is closed.  Getting up in the night for a diaper change, so that the other one can sleep.  And then later, helping the kids downstairs find some breakfast, so the other can sleep in a little bit.  Running to the store in the middle of the night to get medicine.  Birthing a company.  Driving miles each day to get to work, so that we will be provided for.  Cheering at a soccer game when you can’t feel your toes.

That’s love.  I was, quite frankly, clueless when I said “I do”.  Every year brings a deeper understanding of what it means to love and be loved.  True commitment is looking at the past, all the joys and sorrows, and saying “I’d do it again.”

Twenty-eight years ago….

It’s Easter Sunday, and I’m dressed in my finest Easter dress, with my hair beautifully curled under my Easter hat.  My friends have already been baptized in the first part of the church service.  I’m walking down the aisle.  I can see my pastor waiting for me at the end, just like we talked about.  And I’m ready to tell everyone in my church that I want Jesus in my heart.  I don’t understand all the mysteries of the Bible, I haven’t worked at my theology.  I just know that having Jesus in my heart sounds like a good idea, and He loves me.    So I make a commitment to follow after him.

On that Easter Sunday, I have no idea what God has in store for me.  There will be exhilarating days of joy, and heartbreaking days of sadness.  He will guide me to strong friends who will hold me accountable.  He will help me fall in love with music to express the joys of my soul.  He will introduce me to Ben, and forever join us together.  He will also ask me to give up my dreams so that He can replace them with His own.  He will allow me to enter the wasteland of depression, stripping down my pride until only the very essence of me is left. 

But looking back on all that we’ve been through together, good and bad, I can stand before Him and love Him even more.  Twenty-eight years ago, I told God “I will.”  And I’d do it again.  In a heartbeat.