Just Call Me Charlotte......

When I started Scattered Seed, I had no idea what I would actually be doing, or even how I'd find work.  Seriously.  I know it's not the best way to start a business, but I created the company because, well, God told me to.  And, quite frankly, nothing else I had thought of seemed to be working for me.


But the work came, and all was good.


Then, about a year ago, I took a month to really focus on my vision, asking God where He was leading me.  What did He want Scattered Seed to be?  I spent a lot of time listening, and asking God to give me images to confirm what I was hearing.


A lot came out of that time -- this blog, my Thursday morning "sabbaths," and the core values that now drive how I work.  But one image in particular stuck out.  It was the image of my logo, a cross-shaped tree, as one of many trees surrounding my community.  We formed a circle and were interconnected like a spider web, supporting each other and protecting the community.  Each of us played a critical role, but we were only one of many, and together, we were much stronger than as individual groups.


I tucked the image away, but was reminded of it again later when I attended and taught at the Externally Focused Faith Conference in Charleston, SC.  At the close of the conference, they showed photographs of each of the cities represented, set to the music of Chris Tomlin's "God of this City."  As we all began to quietly sing along, one lyric jumped out at me:


"Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city."


So for the past year, I've held this vision and promise close to my heart, knowing that God was building connections, and I was being prepared to do some master web-weaving, like Charlotte in Charlotte's Web.  (I suppose you could use a Spiderman analogy here, but if you don't mind, I prefer to think of myself as Charlotte)


And now, I'm starting to see the edges of the web form.  Ministries I encounter that I immediately feel prompted to connect with other ministries, people, or churches.  Partnerships are being made, resources coordinateded, stories and hearts are being shared -- the web is slowly emerging.  The CHURCH as a whole, the body of Christ, is coming together and truly function as a body, not just a series of isolated ministries.


I am convinced that God is on the move in the Raleigh/Durham Triangle area, and if I may be so bold, in your community as well.  And we all have a part to play to connect to each other and better serve the hurting neighbors we surround.

So here's my challenge:

Take the next couple of days or weeks and ask God to reveal how He's moving in your town, and what you need to do to be a part of it.

Maybe it's checking out a new ministry you've heard about, volunteering, or supporting it financially.
Maybe it's connecting an in-house ministry at your church to other similar groups, church or parachurch, so that you can walk the road together.
Maybe there are just 2 people in your life that God wants you to bring together for a discussion over a cup of coffee.

Whatever it is . . . be obedient.  It might not seem like a big deal to you, but the largest of movements all begin with the smallest of steps.

And let me know what God is up to where you are - who knows?  You and I might find yet another connection where God is at work!

You're the God of this City 
You're the King of these people 
You're the Lord of this nation 
You are 

You're the Light in this darkness 
You're the Hope to the hopeless 
You're the Peace to the restless 
You are 

There is no one like our God 
There is no one like our God 

For greater things have yet to come 
And greater things are still to be done in this City 
Greater thing have yet to come 
And greater things are still to be done in this City 

                                             Chris Tomlin, God of this City

THE HOLDING PATTERN OF THE PRESENT

Close your eyes for a moment, and think back over the events of the past week.  If you’re like me, you’re almost always in a state of transition.  How much of your time did you spend reliving events of the past, both good and bad?  How much of your attention was focused on the future and what it holds for you and your ministry?  Was there any room left for the present?

Obviously, we need to keep an eye on the past – the rearview mirror, as I wrote about before.  It’s good to know where we’ve been, so that we can put where we’re going into context.  But as any good driver knows, we can’t keep moving through life looking in the rear view mirror, or we’ll likely end up crashing into obstacles we didn’t see in the present.   If we continue to dwell in the past, the hurts of the past will constantly fester and annoy, with little chance for healing.

Likewise, we also need to keep an eye on the future to see what lies ahead of us.  If we listen, God speaks clearly to us:  in dreams, words, and visions, alerting us to the changes ahead.  But as with the past, too much attention to the future can be dangerous.  It’s all too easy to focus only on those promises of things to come and ignore the realities of the present.  Then our yearning for the future is no longer a thing of assurance, but a source of growing disillusionment, impatience, and anger, capable of destroying faith.  The more we dream of tomorrow, the more likely we are to crash and burn in the present.

Somehow, we must maintain the fragile balance of living rooted in the present.  Aware of our past, but not letting it completely define us.  Aware of the future, but not consumed by the promises of it.  Content to dwell in the present, looking for the myriad of ways that God is intimately involved in our daily lives.

Too often I hear myself telling friends that I’m stuck in a holding pattern, just waiting for God to deliver.  And there are times when that is certainly feels like the case.  It’s rather arrogant of me to assume that God isn’t at work, though;  maybe, just maybe He has other things for me to do in the meantime. 

Lord, help me to be “content with whatever I have!”  (Phillippians 4:11)

Two little words......

I’ve spent the last week meditating on a passage of the Bible, telling us how to use the specific gifts God gave us to minister to the world around us – 1 Corinthians 14.  Lots of good stuff in that chapter, but I haven’t even made it past the first two words. 

Pursue love.  (NRV)

What a perfect summary of what it means to be a Christian! We begin our new spiritual lives with the awareness of the depth of Christ’s love for us.  The love that is unmerited, unconditional, and yes, unheard of for many of us.  (It took me nearly 25 years before I really began to comprehend His love for me – and I think I’m still only scratching the surface.)

As I become confident in his love, what am I supposed to do? 

Pursue love.  Or as Jesus defined it, love one another. 

It's easy to love most of the people in my life.  I love my husband, more every day.  I fell in love with my children -- long before they were even born.  And I love my extended family.  The friends who have walked beside me through a host of ups and downs.  For all of these, love isn’t really so much of a pursuit as it is a natural response to the love I have received from them.

There definitely are people who I find difficult to love, though.

Maybe it’s because of past actions or hurts they have caused. Choices that they made that I disagree with. Perhaps they, or someone similar to them, have wounded me in the past.  Or they have a life so different from mine that I have trouble identifying with them.  Whatever the issue, loving them requires effort for me.  A great deal of it. 

And yet it’s what I’m called to do.

It doesn’t mean that I have to agree with everything that they say or do.  It doesn’t mean that I enable them.  Or refuse to speak words of truth when I have been specifically instructed by God to do so. 

It also doesn’t mean that I need to rush to solve their problems with a particular program or ministry.  Give them a three point sermon and about what they need to change.  Not immediately, maybe not ever.

It DOES require me to accept them for who they are, and where they are in their spiritual walk.  To honor their worth as a human being, giving dignity where there is none.  To encourage, champion, and affirm.  

Maybe, just maybe, that’s all I’m supposed to do.

Pursue love. 

What if that became our life’s quest?

    

Stepping Out

This week I was reading the story of the Israelites, and their first encounter with the land of Canaan.  Remember that one?  They had escaped the brutal working conditions of Egypt, lived in the desert off of manna, and were finally getting their first glimpse of the Promised Land.  Should have been a joyful occasion, right?  God had already done so many miracles for them, after all.  No reason to think He wouldn’t continue to do so…..

Except that’s not how the story goes at all.  Twelve men go into Canaan, but all but two let fear prevent them from stepping out and claiming what God had promised them.

So are you one of the ten who see only the giants in your future, or the two who truly see your own Promised Land as God intended, flowing with milk and honey?

It’s hard to be a Joshua or a Caleb.  For one thing, you’re usually outnumbered – there are almost always plenty of people around you who see only the negative.  It takes courage to make that first step to explore the world, and ask God to give you His eyes to see the future.  It means acknowledging that there are giants in this new world, but also trusting that your God is bigger. 

If we do not step out in faith, we will curse ourselves to wandering in the desert, denying ourselves of the blessings of the promised land He has for us.  And if you miss your opportunity, like the Israelites did, you may not be able to go back and fix it.  (After their pity party about the big scary giants, and God’s rebuke, they attempted to go back and claim Canaan on their own.  BIG mistake.)

Here’s the good news:  God probably isn’t calling you to leap across the Grand Canyon, right off the bat.  We do not have to see each step of the entire journey – only the next one.  Then we trust Him to show us the one after that, and the one after that, and so on.  We are called not to giant leaps, but to baby steps in the right direction. 

Only when we are finally in our Promised Land will we be able to begin to fully appreciate the journey that we have taken – some things will make more sense only in perspective.  Still others may never make sense.  That’s okay, too.  Just take it one step at a time, and He’ll put all the pieces together. 

It won’t happen, though, unless you ignore your own fears and the naysayers in your life  --- and take that first step.   

Where is God calling you to step out in faith?  Let me know in the comments, and I’ll add you to my prayers.

“Do not dare not to dare”  C.S. Lewis

Time for an Alignment

This is what my Father wants: that anyone who sees the Son and trusts who He is and what he does and then aligns with him will enter real life, eternal life. My part is to put them on their feet alive and whole at the completion of time." John 6:40

Is your life in need of some realignment?


True alignment is when we are completely in tune with what our Father has for us, and we know the part that we play in His world. We are confident in our calling, using and developing the gifts and resources we have to impact the world around us. There is no hesitation, no doubt – only joy at doing the will of God.


Sounds great, doesn’t it? But be honest, is that really a description of you – ALL the time? Ummm……. not always, for me. Looking at the big picture, I think I could say that on the whole, I’ve aligned myself with God. But there are definite instances where I’m in need of a little realignment. Some fine tuning, if you will.


Here are the top three situations that knock me out of line:


When I take too much responsibility on my shoulders. God gives me the opportunity to be involved, and I attempt to take over. For example, God gives me an intercessory burden to pray for someone, and in my arrogance I become convinced that I must also help find a solution for them. That’s not at all what it means to be an intercessor. The fixing is up to God, I just ask and keep asking for His resolution – otherwise I’ll throw myself out of alignment.


When I’m easily distracted, reaching for something that is clearly (and for good reason) unreachable. This often occurs as a response to make myself into someone I’m not, often mimicking a well-respected mentor or teacher in my life. For years I prayed for God to make me more like one of the women in my church, whose gentle, peaceful nature was easily recognized by all. And then I realized - if God wanted me to act and be like her, He would have made me her twin. He needs both of us. My overreaching caused misalignment – and robbed both me and those around me of my own unique abilities.


When I’m not submissive to his timing. I may be fully involved doing what God has asked me to do, but I become impatient with His timetable, and I overstretch. I attempt to speed up the process, and do too much too fast. It’s beyond my current capabilities, and I end up like the runner who attempts to run a marathon on his first day of training – exhausted, burned out, and sore.


Thankfully, God is always available to fine-tune me, recentering me in His will. I love the Message translation of John 6:40, above – His desire is for me to be on my feet and alive at the end of time. Not crawling on my hands and knees to the finish line, not quitting halfway through the race – but on my feet, celebrating His victory.


It just may take a few (okay, several hundred) realignment sessions to get there. All part of the process!

I DID - AND I'D DO IT AGAIN

Eleven years ago…..

I stand at the back of the church chapel,  in the dress that made me cry the first time I put it on.  I can see my soon-to-be husband at the end of the aisle, and our eyes meet.  A few moments later I join him at the front of the church, and before our friends and family, I promise to love him forever, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. 

At the time, I remember thinking that there is no possibly way I could love him more.  As it turns out, though, I was wrong.

Saying “I do” is only the first step of commitment.  True commitment can only be evidenced over time, as you navigate the ups and downs of life together.  Handling the stress of bar exams and engineering certifications.  Examining the miracle of ten tiny little fingers and ten tiny little toes.  Walking through our first house together, wondering if we would ever be able to afford the furniture to fill it up.  Weeping over the loss of loved ones.  Being strong for the other when a career path is closed.  Getting up in the night for a diaper change, so that the other one can sleep.  And then later, helping the kids downstairs find some breakfast, so the other can sleep in a little bit.  Running to the store in the middle of the night to get medicine.  Birthing a company.  Driving miles each day to get to work, so that we will be provided for.  Cheering at a soccer game when you can’t feel your toes.

That’s love.  I was, quite frankly, clueless when I said “I do”.  Every year brings a deeper understanding of what it means to love and be loved.  True commitment is looking at the past, all the joys and sorrows, and saying “I’d do it again.”

Twenty-eight years ago….

It’s Easter Sunday, and I’m dressed in my finest Easter dress, with my hair beautifully curled under my Easter hat.  My friends have already been baptized in the first part of the church service.  I’m walking down the aisle.  I can see my pastor waiting for me at the end, just like we talked about.  And I’m ready to tell everyone in my church that I want Jesus in my heart.  I don’t understand all the mysteries of the Bible, I haven’t worked at my theology.  I just know that having Jesus in my heart sounds like a good idea, and He loves me.    So I make a commitment to follow after him.

On that Easter Sunday, I have no idea what God has in store for me.  There will be exhilarating days of joy, and heartbreaking days of sadness.  He will guide me to strong friends who will hold me accountable.  He will help me fall in love with music to express the joys of my soul.  He will introduce me to Ben, and forever join us together.  He will also ask me to give up my dreams so that He can replace them with His own.  He will allow me to enter the wasteland of depression, stripping down my pride until only the very essence of me is left. 

But looking back on all that we’ve been through together, good and bad, I can stand before Him and love Him even more.  Twenty-eight years ago, I told God “I will.”  And I’d do it again.  In a heartbeat.

How to Succeed in Business....

Recently I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and evaluating (Those of you who know me are shocked, I’m sure).  Scattered Seed is nearly three years old, and yet in many ways, it’s still such a newborn.   

Stepping out into your calling is hard work.  Figuring out exactly what it is you’re supposed to do, and who you’ll be doing it for.  Trying to do it all on your own, and then realizing the need to have other people involved, even if they’re “just” offering prayer support.  Hours and hours of researching, planning, evaluating. 

Over it all looms the question:  “AM I DOING THIS THE RIGHT WAY?”

And so I look around me to see what everyone else is doing, and compare myself to them.  Advice is everywhere - friends, colleagues, and of course, the giant pool of data that is the internet.  How should my fees be structured?  Should I blog?  And if so, how often?  About what?  If the work is there, should I expand and hire some help? 

The temptation to just imitate everyone else is strong.  Business models are a dime a dozen.  And it’s not like I don’t have the capability to make a marketing plan or start a newsletter. 

But then I remember:  If I modeled Scattered Seed after the world’s business principles, I’ve lost the most distinguishing factor I have.  This isn’t a normal business – it’s my ministry.  If Scattered Seed succumbed to all of the latest business principles and models, well…….. it would become a worldly business. That’s not what God intended for me.

And yes, some of the decisions I make may not make a lot of sense to everyone else.   And it may fly in the face of everything that I learned in my college business classes.  That’s okay.  At the end of the day, there’s only one question that matters:  Is this what God has told me to do? 

So if weeks go by, and there’s nothing new posted to the blog, there’s no need for me to worry.  I’m sure He’ll eventually give me something to share.  And if there’s a lull in my work load, it’s probably for a reason (like perhaps, rest for the upcoming onslaught).  God created Scattered Seed, not me.  And as long as I stick to His plan, it’ll be a success in His eyes. 

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within ME (and you!), will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.  Philipians 1:6 

Rear View Mirrors

What’s in your rear view mirror for 2011?  Did you meet those New Year’s resolutions? (Do you even remember your resolutions?)  Did you meet performance objectives for your work?  Stay within budget?  It’s the time of year for self-reflection.

Maybe, though, we need to focus on more than a simple evaluation.  If we want to know where God is taking us, our first task should be to look back on the ground we’ve already covered with Him.

So, with that in mind, think back to 2011:

•  Did you celebrate any victories?
• Where did God show up in an amazing way?
• What were the specific things you very clearly heard Him say to you?

Whatever the answers, WRITE THEM DOWN!!! You may think that they’ll stay forever engraved in your memory, but unfortunately, we have a tendency to forget.  Even the really good stuff.

Why bother to do this?  Well, for one thing, it’s great to know where you’ve been so you’ll recognize it if you detour through there again.   Life is too short to be battling the same wars over and over, but so often we end up walking in circles.  So if you have experienced a victory, build an altar in your mind there – it’s a done deal, signed, sealed, and delivered to you from the hands of your Almighty God.

Looking back is critical to building your faith.  There will be days in 2012 where you feel like you are wandering in the desert.  There may be times when you can’t hear God’s voice, much less know His will for you and your ministry.  You may be in the midst of yet another refining fire. 

When you’re stuck, remember what’s behind you.  Look briefly in the rear view mirror, and remind yourself of the road you’ve already traveled.  The times that God miraculously came through for you.  Quiet times where you knew without a doubt that you were hearing from God.  The hard fought lessons learned from experience.  Stories and encouragement from people you have ministered to, reminding you of God’s ability to use you. 

The more you have in your rear view mirror, the easier it is to hope and trust God’s provision.  God did it for you once, He’ll do it again – so you can have yet another faith-builder in your life.

Let’s begin 2012 with the intention of journaling and celebrating how He is moving among us, storing up our own inventory of faith builders for the challenging days that will inevitably come.  Make it a habit of sharing them with those closest to you, so that we may “spur one another on.”  And if you’d like to share any of your 2011 look backs in the comments below, post away! 

"Through many dangers, toils, and snares

I have already come

‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far.

And grace will lead me home."  --"Amazing Grace," John Newton    

Refining Fire

If this were a typical blog, this post would focus on all of the new opportunities available in the new year – a time of rejuvenation, rededication, and peace on earth good will toward men. 

This isn’t a typical blog.

For some of us, the outlook for New Year’s isn’t quite so pretty.  2011 may have been a year of change for you, and very little of it good.  I know of many “seedling” ministries who are desperately trying to become established – and 2012 is the “make it or break it” year.  It’s the same for a number of my friends, struggling to find employment, sell a house, or worse yet, regain their health. 

I’d dearly love to make the struggles vanish, but I’m no more able to do that than I can wipe away my own problems.  So here’s my message for all of us:  Remember the Lodgepole pine tree.

(I bet you weren’t expecting that, were you???) 

A good friend told me recently told me about this amazing tree.  The pine cones of the Lodgepole are sealed with a resin that only a fire at just the right temperature will melt away.  The seeds in the cones could be trapped for years before a forest fire releases them for germination.  Out of heartwrenching, barren destruction, a new tree can arise, full of promise and hope. 

What an incredible example of God’s provision, and an encouraging reminder for us all!  The best option available to you may be to just sit in the middle of the fire - knowing that you are there only temporarily, and knowing that God is working in the situation.  Even when you’re engulfed in the flames, or you’ve been fighting the same fire over and over for years – the seeds of growth are waiting for His perfect timing.  

Our human nature makes us prone to panic and start looking for the best escape route.  Pain is to be avoided at all costs.  Sometimes, though, fire is necessary to move us forward into God’s plan. 

Take Scattered Seed, for example.  I knew that God had plans for me – He virtually handed me both my undergraduate and law degrees on a silver platter, with no debt.  So I worked as a lawyer for a year, and then after the birth of my first child, right before I was going back to a job that I loved, He told me to stay at home.   WHAT????  It made no sense, but I obeyed – and immediately plunged into a forest fire of depression.  On the outside, I was functioning perfectly; on the inside I was empty.  The joy that I found in my precious boys was wonderful, yet incomplete.  I tried to find my own escape path by applying for part time legal work for jobs that I was perfectly qualified for, but to no avail.  God wanted me to stay right where I was, and I was frustrated, to say the least.

All this time, though, God was working in me.  Tearing down all of the pride I had stored up based on grades, credentials, and past successes.  Until finally, there was simply me – unadorned, definitely imperfect, humbled, but still usable by God.  Out of this brokenness, God slowly began to rebuild me.  It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight.  But as He worked, the depression receded, and a new career path/ministry emerged.  It seems so natural to me now, but I would never have gotten here without His refining fire.  Painful as it was, I'm now grateful for the lessons He taught me.

So if you’re in the midst of your own forest fire, I pray that 2012 will bring you comfort, even in the midst of upheaval.  God is working, even when you cannot see Him – and new growth awaits!